you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
