She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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