youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
