I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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