We named our party play list daddy issues
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found your dick twin last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Who died my cat blue again?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
