Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
