is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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