Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
