Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
40s are totally the cure
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
