i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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