I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
