Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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