I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
