Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
