I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
