quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
