i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
