hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
