just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
