Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
