I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
