what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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