i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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