She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
