I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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