put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
