Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
