I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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