grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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