God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
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I don't know but we should still do that
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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