i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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