Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
