dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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