these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
either way he was missing a nipple.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
