She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
