Got a toothbrush?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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