This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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