You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
