Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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