your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
