God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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