You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
