So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
