why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
