he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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