Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
