try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
