i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
