please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
