i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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