so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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