I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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