she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
